I realize that even in the time of writing this introduction, Spaghetti Monster is becoming an out-dated and even derogatory term.  In the early 2000’s there was a push for the colloquial Spaghetti Monster to be replaced with the more scientific, PW Bo Pot Barts Bof DT Tea, of course standing for People whose bodies or portions of their bodies are reduced to stringy bits of flesh due to tragic escalator accidents, however, it didn’t catch on and we will simply refer to these people as Spaghetti Monsters throughout this text.

Over the next 728 pages, we will journey through the history of Spaghetti Monsters, starting with the instillation of the first escalator on Coney Island in 1896, and the first tragic shoelace-escalator accident, leading to the first Spaghetti Monster, also in 1896.

What roles have Spaghetti Monsters played in the past and how has our view of them shifted in these more liberal times?  Is it still even ethical to eat Spaghetti Monsters? And what sauces might we pair them with to bring out their rich and robust flavours?